I have very slowly been working still on the third book of the Chronicles of Malachai series, entitled, "The Awakening". For those who have read my two previous books, "The Gift" & "The Purpose", you will understand how much simply writing each of these books are part of a spiritual journey all in itself. The Awakening seems to be the biggest struggle for me so far with simply trying to get written.
I'm a strong believer in the many differing spiritual forces and ripples from those forces, which surround each and everyone of us. Some are there to lift us up, some to tear us down, many are just there to distract, deflate and confuse us from being or doing what we are meant to. This past year and a half has definitely been all of the above.
When I sit down to write about the main character, "Malachai" and his journey, it seems like the subject I write about becomes the next level to attack in my own life. When I wrote about the attacks on Malachai's friends, then over the next several weeks, many of those close to me went through weird trials and struggles, enough to keep me busy praying and helping others, so I couldn't write. The chapters leading up to Malachai's marriage including the attacks on him and his soon to be wife, also correlated to provoke attacks on my own marriage and the spiritual forces seemed to take strong aim at my wife.
Some of the strongest attacks came each time I tried to write about Malachai's experiences with facing the demons that desire to hold him back from following what God has planned for him, the spirits which fight to make him lose hope and belief in who his is and the difference he can make if he overcomes. Each time I would start to write, people, events, phone calls, emails, storms and power outages would hit to distract and exhaust me to the point I would quit writing for weeks once again. I've had many strange encounters with those I've never met as well, some I knew were being used by a spirit to distract and yet always balanced with someone who would have read one of my books or need prayer for some strange spiritual occurrences in their own lives. Each event who strengthen my resolve to write more, yet cause me to worry about what might happen if I do.
I know God has called me to write about Spiritual Warfare and how real it is and I believe He has a purpose for allowing me to go through the many struggles I have had and will have. However, God has also been putting it on my heart and using many people who have read one of my books to encourage me to remember that in this war I am not alone. Yes, I am well aware that Jesus and His angels, plus many other supporting spirits are there to help, but I often forget that there are other spiritually open people who can help as well.
I am always willing to talk to others about the subject of spiritual warfare and taught many how to trust God to watch over and guide them through their own understanding of their personal gifts. Yet, I have been very hesitant to share much of my own experiences because of the years of condemnation and judgement I have received from others, especially as I worked in the churches. But now I've found that God wants me to grow even more and while writing "The Awakening" I have been reminded as to how God needs us as His people to open our eyes, our minds and our spirits to what it truly means to have a deeper relationship with Him. It will challenge our own perceptions and cause others to criticize and judge, but we will find others who are seeking more as well and perhaps become the people we were designed to become all along.
"The Chronicles of Malachai" are based off of events from my own life and personal experiences. Why I've been so nervous to admit that fact, I'm still not sure. However, almost everyone I speak with who have read either book always asks me write away if I'm writing about my own life, because they don't believe someone could write such things without experiencing them too. The next subject they then bring up is how they have experienced spiritual events as well and how nice it is to talk with someone else about them who can understand. I whole heartily agree.
I've come to understand that hiding who we are as spiritual beings is simply a more modern trend. But when you read the Old Testament and learn about Abraham, Moses, Noah, Elijah, Isaiah, Enoch and some many more, you realize how much we have forgotten and how stifled our belief in who God is and what we were created to be, has become.
"The Awakening" is almost finished being written and as nervous as I am with trying to complete these last couple of chapters, I feel I need to put it out there and ask for the prayers of those who truly believe and understand to help support, encourage and protect me and my family as I complete the writing of this story God has put on my heart to share. (Even as I wrote these words, huge gusts of wind blow against my office window.) I know I need to complete it and God willing, the last two books as well, but I also know I appreciate and need the support from those who understand what I am speaking here.
Why have I decided to write all this and share it now? Honestly, God has been trying to get me to be more open and honest about my experiences, but I have been afraid because as much as I believe in fighting this spiritual war, trying to encourage the underdog, build up the broken down and defeated, and teach God's truth over what might be embedded doctrine or popular opinion the result has cause me much pain and I have seen more darkness on the earth than I ever care to have seen. Yet God keeps pushing me to become more open and honest anyway.
Last night, while feeling exhausted and frustrated over other events dragging me down once again, I decided to distract myself by watching some Netflix. My wife, son and I decided to watch some more Dr. Who and the episode about Charles Dickens and how in the end as much as he thought he understood life, he realized how much more there still is to understand. His spirit was awakened by the possibility of there being more to existing than what He could see. This struck me deeply because I found myself longing to be with people like the Dr. and the servant girl who believe in so much more. So, when God once again gave me some scriptures this morning to encourage me to share my story and experiences, I thought perhaps this is exactly what I need and have been missing.
So why did I decide to write this? Because I need to so I can believe and hope in what can be once more. The criticism may come but I've lived so much with the negative that the chance for some positive and support is worth the risk. I thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts and I hope this is the beginning of a new opportunity to share in more detail what inspired them. Perhaps I can encourage others to also believe deeper and even make some new friends who can encourage me just the same as well. After all as much as this is a spiritual war, I must remember, I'm not alone.
